Days...

I've totally lost track of the days. I have been remiss. I have viewed my camera as sometime chore, sometime savior, sometime simply friend. Lately, she has been a stranger. I yearn for the days when our relationship was easy, natural, second nature. I think she misses me too. She sits there oft unused, but she is a patient friend. She reminds me, gently, that these days are precious. That daily challenges and guilt are not part of the journey. That the magic we make together is not gone, just gently pushed aside for the most important thing in the world; time. Time to heal wounds, time to pour love into my little love while she misses her Daddy. She has not left me, my solitary friend. She is just waiting for the inspiration that is never far from my heart.

Tomorrow my camera friend and I will have the honor of capturing family pictures for a really awesome couple and their very cute kids. You can't help but be inspired by the love of a young family. Maybe my camera will forgive me for my frequent absences.

Though often absent, I have not forgotten. I did, in fact, take a few pictures throughout the past few weeks. They centered around the two most important people in my life, as usual. We were soaking up lots of Daddy time in preparation for a few weeks apart. My two little Chelsea Football fans.

I could never tire of watching these two. Dressed in matching Chelsea clothes, the little watching Daddy's every move, learning when to cheer and when to yell. Learning to love something that he loves so much. But alas, they never do sit still long.

My favorite though is when they don't know I'm watching them at all. In almost all circumstances the camera is enough for me. It can perfectly capture the moment, locking it away forever as something so much bigger than just a girl and her Dad. There are little pockets of moments, however, where the camera just isn't enough. Where I wish I could "photograph" a moment. Lock away the smells, the sounds, the feelings as perfectly as the image.

The night before he left was one such night. I was out in the backyard, my little family was inside, sitting on the floor playing with giant legos. Muddy Waters was playing inside, the soulful sounds drifting out to me in giant, raspy crescendos. The smell of garlic and chicken on the stove clung to me, giving me this amazing, perfect feeling of home. You know these times I speak of? When everything, sounds, smells, sights, hearts all converge into one shining, perfect moment. This was one such time for me. I did grab the camera and, like a creeper, snuck pictures of my family through the window. (Maybe I could someday moonlight as a spy, or a creep.) For the first time in a long time, the pictures weren't enough. But they were something. I can't bottle up the moment, but I can keep one small piece of it and pray that my brain captured the rest. Only time will tell.